Wednesday, December 9, 2009

WDW Family Trip, December 2007, Day 2, Part 1: Hello??? It's Incredible!!!

Day 1 can be viewed HERE

Hi there, I’m V, Chris’s cell phone. Chris is too busy playing with his iPod that he just got, and he simply won’t write up the report for Day 2. Since I was around the entire day today and actually played a major role in the events, I am taking it upon myself to type this one up.

First, we need to re-introduce the characters:

Chris (DM…damn moron), my owner, who doesn’t care for me one bit.
Sheri (DMW…damn moron’s wife), pristine on the outside, evil on the inside.
Aaron (DMPS1…damn moron’s first poor son), generally ignores me.
Eric (DMPS2…you can figure it out), nice for the most part, but likes to press my numbers.

The very first part of the morning was kind of fuzzy, and not because of all the lint in the pockets. Chris shuts me off at night, thinking that I will save energy. I still have calls come through, though (the moron).

Here’s what I think happened...

The cute phone in the room (with buttons in all the right places) lets out this hot ring around 6:20, and Aaron answers it. Whoever it was got Aaron giggling…someone named “Stitch” I think he said. Chris mumbles something about being up for ten minutes already and heads into the place with all the water for a shower. I immediately cringe because I know what water does to me. One time, the moron left me in his pants, and I went through a wash and rinse cycle before being thrown into what felt like a blast furnace - it was then that Sheri rescued me. She’s actually the one that gave Chris the name “Moron”. I liked it, and the name stuck.

Anyways, they all are running around the room. Moron tells the kids time after time after time to get dressed so they can get on a bus. I hear some rustling nearby…it was my friends, the coins, going into the moron’s pocket. FINALLY I’m turned on (minds out of the gutters, folks). Chris takes one look at me and shoves me in his pocket. We go outside around 6:58 to try to catch an early bus. They pause for a moment, and I hear them take out my other good friend, Camera. We’re in cahoots, so Camera let me in on some of what was going on.

The first thing I notice is that there appears to be a huge dog's ass in the background. The second thing I notice is that the boys are dressed the exactly the same. Moron takes me out to look at the time, and I then see that he and Sheri are also dressed exactly the same. As we all head to the elevator, I hear a passing family laugh and mention something about the Incredible family. Sheri tells Chris that everybody was staring at them. Chris responds with “don’t tell me you’re actually surprised at that” and “remember, this was YOUR idea!” After an elevator ride down and a sarcastic remark from Sheri about taking the short way out, we head to the bus stops.

Now, the moron has this illusion that the random event of walking up when a bus arrives actually predicts how the day will go. The bus pulls up as we get in line, and, while loading up a wheelchair, I hear someone comment on the Incredibles family again, and the moron pipes back with, “Yeah, it’s incredible we’re still a family right now!” Eric starts calling himself “Jack-Jack” about this time. Everyone gets on the bus, and we start our way to the Magic Kingdom. We first stop at a place called the Contemporary, and everyone but us gets off the bus…guess they all were as annoyed with him as I am (I just wish I had the chance to leave). We make our way to the Magic Kingdom, and I hear that the park opens at 9 am today…I look at myself for a second and see that it’s 7:35! Geez…he really is a moron to get to a park an hour and a half before opening. Perhaps the D in “DM” should stand for DUMB!

We get off, and Aaron skips towards the entrance. Wow! What a surprise…they aren’t letting anyone in yet! We get in line with about 60 Brazilians in yellow shirts, and Sheri gives Camera a workout.

For some reason, the powers that be let us in. We go through the tunnel and see the same thing that I’ve already seen several times this year. Come on….ain’t this getting old by now? Sheri tells the Moron that she’ll get in position with camera so she can capture Eric seeing the castle for the first time. Apparently Eric has been talking about Cinderella’s castle for several months now. I hear Chris talking…

“Okay, Eric…there’s Cinderella’s Castle! Aaron, get back here

“Right over there, bud AARON, GO BY MOMMY!

“Eric, it’s 189 feet tall, Dude…That BIG building at the end of the road! The thing that looks like a castle!”

“Oh boy…how can he not see it? THERE IT IS!!! He saw it finally!!!”

Wow…for a moment there I was worried Eric had some qualities from Chris.

Chris is getting a bit nervous about the time because he keeps pulling me out of his pocket and glancing at me for an update. When he checked it for the third time in a minute, I contemplated phantom-calling one of his ex-girlfriends and making it an awkward-yet-humorous situation for him. They decide that they had time for a quick pic:

Every time they talked to somebody, Chris would always start with “The shirts were HER idea!”

We make our way over to a place called the Crystal Palace. This is a new one for me. I’ve made the trek to Disney World 4 times in my life, and this is a first. I’ve never heard of the place, but it appears that the yellow Brazilians had heard of it. Chris takes me to check in, so I had to rely on Camera for what went on with the others.

Camera told me that Sheri actually let Aaron take this picture:

Aaron did pretty well.

This last one…When I saw it, I had to let my guard down and almost shed a tear…this must be what the Magic Kingdom is all about:

Anyways…Moron gets checked in, and within a few minutes, we all get whisked into the Crystal Palace for breakfast. I overheard Chris mention that the breakfast lasagna definitely lived up to its hype. Aaron went with Chris and got chocolate chip Mickey pancakes. Chris also got a omelet. Camera got a major workout this meal, as a bunch of characters walked around. Winnie the Pooh came around, and I heard Aaron whisper to Chris that he knew it was a fake Winnie the Pooh because he had a zipper. I heard Chris gulp and mumble under his breath something about being too damn smart for his age. Chris asked Aaron if he had any zippers, and I thought I smelled smoke as Aaron contemplated that thought for a moment. “Yes, I have a zipper.” Aaron didn’t mention anything else about the characters for the rest of the trip. Apparently, he’s real, and he has a zipper, so all things with zippers are real; therefore, the characters must be real.

Sheri made the mistake of letting the moron have Camera while she got some food. Eeyore came by, and he did his best taking a picture. Too bad he couldn’t get a pic of everyone looking at Camera. She came back, saw the pictures, and just shook her head. She then stole his orange juice and drank it.

I overheard Sheri and the moron mentioning how organized it seemed there. There were a lot of people eating, but it didn’t seem crowded at all. Moron was more relaxed that there were no further questions/comments about how real the characters were. Aaron was at the “near beating” stage as it appeared that he was chugging syrup by the gallon and every 20 seconds would ask if he could ride the Haunted Mansion. He had lost 2 teeth over the past week, and he discovered that he can make some new sounds with his mouth – one being Donald Duck…well, in his mind, he thought it sounded like Donald Duck. It sounded nothing like Donald…in my opinion, it sounded like a cross between what the aliens in the movie Mars Attacks sounded like and a crow in heat (nope...don't have a clip of that). In the Moron’s defense, he can do a pretty good Donald impersonation. Aaron…not so much. Added to that, Tigger and Piglet were, as Sheri put it, “Sucking Air”, so we decided to head out before the boys spontaneously combusted. The poor sons didn’t seem to mind (that, or they were oblivious). On the way out, the Incredible family paused to view the topiaries of the Pooh Characters. Sheri let Aaron use Camera again, and he took another good picture:

Aaron then dropped my good friend Camera, and her guts went flying everywhere. The batteries rolled under an ECV parked inside the doors. I laughed at Moron trying to get them.

They headed out towards the castle and assaulted a Photopass person for another pic:

(Camera's pics were better than the actual Photopass pics from the same area, so this is from Camera)

Continued HERE

1 comment:

MariBy said...

Enjoying the unique perspective on today's adventures.

Your sons are adorable and wifey makes me smile - I doan think you get much past her! :D

Looking forward to the next installment...